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Man’s genitals gnawed off by hyena

Man’s genitals gnawed off by hyena

A fellow in Malawi has deliberately and voluntarily allowed a hyena to bite of his testicles and penis in a bid to become rich. Chamangeni Zulu of Njenjewa Village in Chief Mulonyeni’s area in Malawi was taken to hospital on Monday with missing reproductive organs, and three missing toes. Mr. Zulu had purposefully offered himself […]

Woman arrested for biting penis

A woman in Johannesburg, South Africa has been arrested by cops and charged with attempted murder after biting down on a bloke’s chopper during oral sex. The victim says he met his alleged assailant on Saturday evening at a bar in in Meadowlands, Soweto, where he did a good job of chatting her up and […]

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Man famous for massive testicles dies

Wesley Warren AKA ‘the man with 100lb scrotum’ has died from a heart attack aged just 49-years-old. Warren shot to fame in 2011 when he appeared on the Howard Stern show to tell the world about his unfeasibly large testicles. Warren shamelessly explained to Stern, and his listeners how his nut-sack and bollocks had swelled […]

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72-year-old teacher arrested for bashing himself off in school

A septuagenarian substitute school teacher was apparently caught red-handed stroking himself off in the halls of a Connecticut high school. 72-year-old Michael Luecke was apparently spotted by a teaching assistant early on Wednesday morning at Westhill High School in Stamford. The classroom aide noticed Luecke hunched over in the hallways, grunting and fumbling. The whistleblower […]

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Airport confiscate man’s donkey penis

Officials at Wellington International Airport in New Zealand confiscated a man’s donkey penis as it was seen as a bio-security risk. The passenger had travelled from China to New Zealand and declared his 11-inch penis to the Ministry for Primary Industries staff, along with a selection of other cuts of donkey meat. New Zealand doesn’t […]

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Emma Willis disappointed at losing out on big cocks

TV totty Emma Willis has expressed her disappointment at missing out of seeing a massive dick whilst presenting This Morning. Lovely Emma often stands-in for large-hootered honey Holly Willoughby on the days that Willoughbooby is skiving off or suffering from the shits. But in all the times Emma has covered for Holly’s absence she hasn’t […]

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Home invaders penis-whip woman across her face

Having your home invaded by armed burglars is bad enough, but when they beat you around the head and face with their penises it’s just that little bit worse. On Tuesday two masked gunmen forced their way into a house in Miami, Florida. The two attackers knocked on the back door of the house and […]

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Farmer accused of neglecting horse’s swollen penis

Lady farmer Susan Savage from the beautiful village of Benenden in Kent has been charged with animal cruelty after a seriously swollen penis led to the death of a horse. Witnesses to the horse’s swollen member reported the tumescent tallywhacker to the RSPCA, who say the horse had been standing in the field with its […]

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Happy New Year 2014!

Happy New Year to all our esteemed readers. Another year done and dusted and a fresh new one lay ahead of us. Before we plough headlong into 2014 we like to pause for a moment and remember some of the biggest stories of last 12 months. Just as in previous years we’ve compiled a list […]

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Snake in the toilet bites a man’s penis

An unfortunate chap in Ghana has had his bell-end helmet mauled by a snake hiding in a toilet. 34-year-old Kwabena Nkrumah was slashing out the contents of his bladder at a public convenience in the Ahafo Ano South District of the Ashanti Region. As Kwabena pissed away he suddenly felt a sharp stinging sensation on […]

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