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Telepathic pervert rapes women with his mind during church service

Telepathic pervert rapes women with his mind during church service

A black magic sex pest was given a sound beating after allegedly telepathically raping women in church. Tafara Mukoto fled from church on Sunday after a flustered woman accused him of violating her using magic. Mukoto is accused of using mubobobo, the alleged magical power men can procure from witch doctors in Zimbabwe in order […]

Werewolves may be responsible for animal deaths in Britain

An eggheaded boffin in the field of equine science has confirmed that animals killed in the Gloucester and Dorset countryside were not killed by a known domestic predator, leaving the finger pointing squarely at werewolves or possibly big cats. Dr Andrew Hemmings, a senior lecturer in animal science at the Royal Agricultural University in Cirencester […]

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Arson blamed on homosexual demon

An Oklahoma man is blaming a gay demon for his troubles. 22-year-old Jeremy Anderson has been arrested for arson and may face further charges after cops burst into his house and caught him cooking his bible and smashing the place up. Anderson says his troubles began when a homosexual demon buggered and bummed him. Police […]

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Arrest made after penis was used during exorcism

A Chinese exorcist has been arrested after a woman who hired his services complained that he’d used his penis to remove the ghosts from her vagina. A Xin says she paid £2,000 for self-proclaimed ghostbuster Huang Jianjun to assist her in a personal matter. Huang had agreed to help A Xin gain the amorous attention […]

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Alien cattle mutilation

A cattle farmer in Missouri believes three of her cows may be the victims of alien cattle mutilation. Lyn Mitchell discovered her first dead cow, with its face sliced open and its tongue removed right back in 2011. At that time she put the gruesome killing down to pesky teenagers, or at worst satanists. But […]

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Curators at the Manchester Museum have been left flabbergasted after CCTV footage has shown an ancient Egyptian statue has began moving around all on its own. The seemingly haunted statue rotates on its base in an anti-clockwise direction, as if looking around the museum’s egyptology department with it’s own spectral eyes. Egg-headed boffin and artefact […]

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A group of Irish film students have captured video footage of what looks to be a great ugly sea monster swimming in the estuary of the River Foyle in Ulster. Conall Melarkey and a small group of college students were working on a short film as part of their course when they happened upon an […]

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Mystery ape-creature loose in Dorset

A pretty young student has spotted what could be Dorset’s own Bigfoot-Sasquatch. 17-year-old Terri Leigh Cox, a health and social care student from Dorchester has snapped a grainy photograph of a black, hairy ape-like beast frolicking in a child’s play area. Cox tok the photo from her bedroom window which overlooks a public park. She […]

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Zombie prostitute rises from the dead

A prostitute who ‘died’ whilst having sexual intercourse with her client has risen from the dead, terrifying slack-jawed onlookers. The resurrection incident took place on Tuesday at a grubby hotel/knocking-shop in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. The ‘deceased’ woman was thought to have popped her clogs whilst making whoopee with a customer. Police were called and the prostitute’s […]

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Villagers ward off evil spirits with massive penis

Superstitious yokels at a village in eastern Thailand have erected a two-foot-long, brightly decorated wooden cock to repel a murderous ghost. For the past 20 years locals at Nong Yai say they have been plagued by a malevolent spirit which kills men in their sleep. The so-called ‘Widow Ghost’ has been blamed on dozens of […]

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