The Winmarleigh Wallaby
Residents in west Lancashire are on the lookout for the Winmarleigh Wallaby. Lancashire police have received reports of a mystery marsupial hopping around the village of Winmarleigh, just north of Preston. Initial reports of a feral kangaroo were scoffed at by local coppers, but they ate their words when photographic evidence of the animal was [...]
A shocked consumer got more than what he paid for this week when the fish he bought was host to one of the world’s most grotesque and disgusting parasites — a tongue biter. The tongue-eating louse (Cymothoa exigua) is an ugly isopod which climbs through a fish’s gills and then eats its tongue. That’s nasty [...]
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SlingShot games based in Bristol return this year with a revamped and revitalised version of their amazing zombie-themed cross city chase game. 2.8 Hours Later is now in its fourth year, the hugely popular zombie chase game sets groups of survivors on a desperate pursuit across one of six UK cities in a race against [...]
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Sick weirdos in Scotland have attempted to steal a horse’s penis. The 23-year-old Icelandic gelding, named Hrafn was found by his owners on Thursday morning bleeding profusely with his John Thomas hanging on by its urethra. The poor nag had to undergo emergency surgery to remove the dong, which could not be reattached or repaired. [...]
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Stephen Gough, the Naked Rambler is back behind bars for his habitual nudity. The former Royal Marine and dedicated naturalist finally made it out of Scotland after serving six years in prison for his constant nudity. But even after he crossed into England people continued to complain to police and Gough was arrested in Hebden [...]
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A Scottish brewery who famously produce the world’s strongest beer are about to produce a limited run of an even more powerful ale. Aberdeenshire based brewery, Brewmeister are the proud creators of Armageddon beer, a 65% ABV ale made using only four ingredients, no nasty chemical additives, and is naturally carbonated using fresh Scottish spring [...]
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A 48-year-old Wiltshire man is suing Salisbury District Hospital after they removed the wrong testicle during surgery. The unnamed man was undergoing life-saving surgery to remove a cancerous gonad from his scrotum when blundering surgeons lopped-off the wrong nut. Once the butchers had noticed their error they froze the healthy testicle and later tried to [...]
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Police detectives in Norwich are conducting a search for two Oompa Loompas who attacked a man outside a kebab shop on Thursday. The 28-year-old victim of the assault suffered black eyes, cuts and bruising. He told investigating officers that his assailants had orange faces and green hair, identical to the Oompa Loompas featured in the [...]
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Police in Bury, Greater Manchester are on the lookout for a dirty beast who is randomly smearing women with his own excrement. Greater Manchester police have released this grainy CCTV image of the man who is suspected to behind two poo-poo assaults at a pub in Ramsbottom. The first attack took place at the Oakes [...]
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A big tough Yorkshireman was told by doctors that he could need his arm amputating after he was bitten by a tiny spider. 17-stone brick shithouse Gary Meadows from Teesville, North Yorkshire was fannying about on his allotment when he was bitten by Britain’s most venomous arachnid, the False Widow spider (Steatoda nobilis). The False [...]
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