Shopper buys a fish containing bizarre and horrific parasite
A shocked consumer got more than what he paid for this week when the fish he bought was host to one of the world’s most grotesque and disgusting parasites — a tongue biter. The tongue-eating louse (Cymothoa exigua) is an ugly isopod which climbs through a fish’s gills and then eats its tongue. That’s nasty [...]
Sick weirdos in Scotland have attempted to steal a horse’s penis. The 23-year-old Icelandic gelding, named Hrafn was found by his owners on Thursday morning bleeding profusely with his John Thomas hanging on by its urethra. The poor nag had to undergo emergency surgery to remove the dong, which could not be reattached or repaired. [...]
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A Scottish brewery who famously produce the world’s strongest beer are about to produce a limited run of an even more powerful ale. Aberdeenshire based brewery, Brewmeister are the proud creators of Armageddon beer, a 65% ABV ale made using only four ingredients, no nasty chemical additives, and is naturally carbonated using fresh Scottish spring [...]
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A 48-year-old Wiltshire man is suing Salisbury District Hospital after they removed the wrong testicle during surgery. The unnamed man was undergoing life-saving surgery to remove a cancerous gonad from his scrotum when blundering surgeons lopped-off the wrong nut. Once the butchers had noticed their error they froze the healthy testicle and later tried to [...]
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The world’s one and only performing flatulist, Mr Methane will be jetting off to sunny Finland this summer to take part in the first ever World Fart Championships. The arse-trumpeting contest will take place in Utajärvi on 13th July 2013 and Mr Methane has been invited to perform his spectacular sphincter-twitching show for all international [...]
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Police detectives in Norwich are conducting a search for two Oompa Loompas who attacked a man outside a kebab shop on Thursday. The 28-year-old victim of the assault suffered black eyes, cuts and bruising. He told investigating officers that his assailants had orange faces and green hair, identical to the Oompa Loompas featured in the [...]
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Police in Bury, Greater Manchester are on the lookout for a dirty beast who is randomly smearing women with his own excrement. Greater Manchester police have released this grainy CCTV image of the man who is suspected to behind two poo-poo assaults at a pub in Ramsbottom. The first attack took place at the Oakes [...]
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A big tough Yorkshireman was told by doctors that he could need his arm amputating after he was bitten by a tiny spider. 17-stone brick shithouse Gary Meadows from Teesville, North Yorkshire was fannying about on his allotment when he was bitten by Britain’s most venomous arachnid, the False Widow spider (Steatoda nobilis). The False [...]
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A Leicester man has set a brand new world record for lifting the heaviest weights using just his eyeball sockets. Strongman Manjit Singh from Highfields, Leicester lifted two 12kg weights over 10cm off the ground for more than five seconds by attaching them to metal hooks and placing the hooks under his eyeballs. “I felt [...]
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DNA boffins in Scotchland are planning on mapping the gene which causes the disease known as gingerness. Less than 2% of the the world’s population suffer from the condition but in Scotland that figure may be as high as 13%. For decades the illness was thought to have some connection with the heavy drinking habits [...]
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