Happy New Year to all our lovely readers. Here at The Morningstarr* we intend delivering to you another 12 months of all the most bizarre and bonkers news we can muster, and more besides.
For the first of our monthly prize draws we wanted to offer you something that little bit special, something that will actually change one lucky reader’s life forever. So we’re giving away a superb Bum Gun Titan bidet sprayer!
As far as we can see the arse-rinsing bidet sprayer is the future for toilets. Wiping dirty bums on paper and flushing it down the drains is simply unsustainable, it’s destroying forests and putting an enormous strain on our often out-dated sewer systems. Plus, nothing beats the cleanliness of jet-washing your cling-ons away and having a properly pampered derriere, avoiding the harsh abrasiveness of bog-roll.
The Morningstarr* nerve centre is currently being refurbished with bidet sprayers of our very own, and we want to share the botty cleanliness with you. To get hold of your very own, easy to install Bum Gun all you need do is answer this piece-of-piss question: What is the brand name of the medicated toilet paper which only smears poo around your backside?
If for any reason you’re struggling to find the answer you could look for inspiration here: Arse wiping ~ A Brief History
I say inspiration, I mean the answer to the question. The winner will be drawn at random when the competition closes at midnight on Thursday 6th February. Full terms and conditions can be viewed here: T&Cs.
As a kind of consolation prize (we can’t all win) Greg Noland from The Bum Gun company has kindly offered all Morningstarr* readers a £10 voucher towards any Bum Gun in the Living Stainlessly range. To redeem your voucher just e-mail Greg at info(at)thebumgun.com and quote ref: #202