Make 2014 the year of the clean bum

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Filed under: Competitions |

Bum Gun

Happy New Year to all our lovely readers. Here at The Morningstarr* we intend delivering to you another 12 months of all the most bizarre and bonkers news we can muster, and more besides.

For the first of our monthly prize draws we wanted to offer you something that little bit special, something that will actually change one lucky reader’s life forever. So we’re giving away a superb Bum Gun Titan bidet sprayer!

As far as we can see the arse-rinsing bidet sprayer is the future for toilets. Wiping dirty bums on paper and flushing it down the drains is simply unsustainable, it’s destroying forests and putting an enormous strain on our often out-dated sewer systems. Plus, nothing beats the cleanliness of jet-washing your cling-ons away and having a properly pampered derriere, avoiding the harsh abrasiveness of bog-roll.

The Morningstarr* nerve centre is currently being refurbished with bidet sprayers of our very own, and we want to share the botty cleanliness with you. To get hold of your very own, easy to install Bum Gun all you need do is answer this piece-of-piss question: What is the brand name of the medicated toilet paper which only smears poo around your backside?

Competition closed

If for any reason you’re struggling to find the answer you could look for inspiration here: Arse wiping ~ A Brief History

I say inspiration, I mean the answer to the question. The winner will be drawn at random when the competition closes at midnight on Thursday 6th February. Full terms and conditions can be viewed here: T&Cs.

As a kind of consolation prize (we can’t all win) Greg Noland from The Bum Gun company has kindly offered all Morningstarr* readers a £10 voucher towards any Bum Gun in the Living Stainlessly range. To redeem your voucher just e-mail Greg at info(at) and quote ref: #202

Referral voucher The Bum Gun bidet sprayer

Cubed earwax

  • Jennie

    I have used the bum gun extensively on my world travels and have got to say its pretty awesome. A bit weird when you first come across it. But as you say we should be promoting anything that is more hygienic and better for the environment. As a care assistant I wish care homes would have the bum gun installed in every bathroom.

  • Kelly Jones

    I’d love to win another bum gun as honestly once you start using them you
    can’t go back to toilet paper. Ever since I was a teen I have been over
    conscious of my hygiene especially during menstruation days. But now the bum
    gun is available I have found my life improve immensely. Luckily I work from
    home, so it’s only when I go out from home might I have to try face toilet
    paper. Funny how you start to love evenings in!!

  • Stu11

    I’ve already got one bum gun at home. I love it, but I want one for my mums house and some for our office. I should win!!

  • Stu11

    I already have one bum gun at home. But want one for my mums house, and some for the office. I should win!!