Doomsday obsessed man emasculates himself and his father

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Penis-chopping victim

A man who is convinced the world is about to end on 29th March has used a knife to castrate his father and then slice off his own meat and two veg.

The bizarre apocalyptic penis-chopping event took place in Malasia at around 01:30 this morning, local time. The unnamed fellow is reported to have whipped himself up into a frenzy after researching doomsday theories online on the internet. Following a brief holiday the chap returned home this week and called his family together to warn them of the coming final calamity. Although the man’s family say there is no history of mental illness, he began lecturing them on the end of the world and allegedly began physically attacking his father to try and make him cry. According to witnesses the mentalist told them if his father began to cry it would invoke the spirit of an 800-year-old Muslim cleric who would save the world.

However the old man didn’t shed a tear, and the doomsday nutter decided to ramp things up in the early hours of the morning by slashing-off the old man’s todger and then performing the same DIY castration on himself. The penis-less loon was also set on removing the crown jewels of his brother-in-law but he quickly fled with his tallywhacker intact. Police were eventually called to the grisly scene around three hours later. The emasculated duo were both rushed to hospital to have their organs reattached. They are both in a critical condition.

“At 1.30am, after the father had retired to bed, the suspect stormed into his father’s bedroom with a kitchen knife and chopped off his father’s penis. He then chopped off his own.” CID chief Asst Comm K. Manoharan said in his statement.

“His mother witnessed the ordeal.”

UPDATE — Both penises have now been successfully reattached.

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