A little old lady from southern Germany called police cops today after she discovered a three-foot-long snake coiled up in her toilet.
A police spokesman from the German town of Schwanstetten gave a press statement this morning confirming that the 74-year-old biddy had spotted the serpent when she went for a piss, or a crap, and called the emergency services immediately. Cops arrived on the scene to find the snake had slithered away and buggered off, they called a fire crew in to assist them and traced the cold-blooded crapper-dweller through the sewer system and to a manhole in the old duffer’s back garden.
“The reptile was in no mood to show itself to the officers so the fire brigade was called in.” a rozzer said.
“They opened a manhole in the garden and were able to remove it from the plumbing”
An attractive lady herpetologist (snake expert) was then called in to identify the critter and make sure no one was in any real danger. The snake turned out to be a Royal python, popular with pet owners and mostly harmless. The police are appealing for the snake’s owner to contact them and retrieve their pensioner-worrying reptile.
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