Pensioner finds snake in his bathroom

A Scottish pensioner has been telling everyone how he was completely bricking it after finding a snake in his bathroom, and having to go to a neighbours to drop his guts.

67-year-old Dennis Mulholland from Paisley went to his bathroom to crimp off an oily loaf when he was confronted by a three foot scaly intruder.

“I walked into my bathroom and I saw something sitting between the wall and the toilet.” Dennis told the Daily record.

“It looked like a snake but I thought someone had left it there as a prank and it was just a toy.”

However, when the Scotsman poked the reptile with a TV remote control the snake reared it’s head and stared directly at Dennis with it’s soulless snake eyes.

“I was off like a shot. I just slammed the door and ran out.” The pensioner confessed.

Dennis called the police, but two coppers who attended the scene were also too frightened to move the serpent.

“I called the police but the two officers were too scared to move the snake, so they phoned the SSPCA.” Dennis said.

In the meantime Dennis still needed to empty his bowels, now more so than before he found the snake, so he popped upstairs to the flat above his to ask neighbour Darren Hendry if he could drop the kids off at his pool.

“I chapped Darren’s door to ask if I could use his toilet because there was a snake in my bathroom. I couldn’t believe it when he told me, ‘The snake’s mine’.”

And with that the mystery was solved and the drama subsided. Mr Hendry explained that his California king snake Mad Max had escaped a few weeks earlier and must have used the plumbing as a passage from his flat to Dennis’ below.

Max is now back in his vivarium warming up and fattening up on dead rodents.

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