Witch Claims That The Loch Ness Monster Is Actually A Ghost

Kevin Carlyon, a ‘white witch’ and official ‘Protector of Loch Ness and the Loch Ness Creature’ is planning on holding a mass seance at the famous Scottish site in order to make contact with ‘Nessie’ who he believes is a ghost.

Carylon named himself as protector of Nessie after he cast a spell over Loch Ness which would prevent Swedish ‘monster hunter’ Jan Sundberg from capturing the mythical beast when he visited the Loch in 2001 on a Nessie hunt. The pair have since traded insults via email in an ongoing feud which lead to Sundberg threatening to cut Carylon an extra “asshole” and shove his head through it. Carylon responded by outing Sundberg as a convicted child molester.

With all that now behind him Carylon has decided to move forward and prove that the world famous Loch Ness Monster is actually a ghost which is only ever seen by people who are sensitive to psychic phenomena and under the right conditions.

“The creature is a ghost from a bygone era and its image has been captured by the surrounding landscape. On certain weather conditions, particularly very warm or thunderous with a lot of static in the air, images of the creature are ‘replayed’ and people who are slightly psychic see the creature as if it is here now.” Carylon told the Highland News.

To prove his remarkable theory Carylon is planning a mass seance with up to 200 witches, clairvoyants, psychics and other fortune tellers who will all congregate on the banks of Loch Ness next month and try to summon the ghost to materialise before them. The event will be broadcast on webcam at www.lochness.co.uk and is penciled in for 21st June.

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