Piping The Truth Into Your Brainballs!
Story published on January 28, 2010
Toothless, Irish punk Shane MacGowan is creating an all-star charity record to rival that of high-trousered muppet Simon Cowell.
Former Pogues singer MacGowan is enlisting help from celebrity chums such as the legendary Nick Cave, Johnny Depp and his squeeze Vanessa Paradis and Scotsman Bobby Gillespie, who was once the drummer in The Jesus and Mary Chain. Paradis has had a number of pop hits, and always makes a great video to accompany them. Depp, best known for portraying pirates and weirdos in movies is also an accomplished musician having already recorded one solo album and also saving Oasis’ 1997 album Be Here Now from complete tediousness by playing guitar on the track Fade In-Out. Depp has also recently appeared on the new album from the much underrated Sheffield band Babybird.
MacGowan has assembled his list of artists to record a cover version of Screamin’ Jay Hawkins’ I Put A Spell On You, a track which Cave has previously covered with his band The Birthday Party. All proceeds will go to aid the Haiti earthquake relief.
Meanwhile egotistical buffoon Cowell has enlisted a gaggle of celebrity scum to murder a version of REM’s Everybody Hurts after Prime Minister Gordon Brown ordered the multimillionaire to try and do something worthwhile for a change. The choice of song has already angered a lot of people due to the song’s sentiment of basically ‘keep your chin up’. Just another case of Cowell’s mind blowing ignorance no doubt.
Crap acts such as Susan Boyle, Take That, Robbie Williams, Leona Lewis, Cheryl Cole, Alexandra Burke and Joe McElderry have all agreed to appear on Cowell’s charity single. When you have as much money as the likes of Cowell you get plenty of spare time so it’s not like he hasn’t got much to spare, all the real money will come from the likes of the idiots who buy the records he’s responsible for.
For a taster of how good the MacGowan charity single could turn out to be just check out the Nick Cave live version below, it’s awesome.
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