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Story published on January 1, 2010

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Woman Finds Naked Intruder Wanking

by Earl Morningstarr
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Sylvia Nagy got the shock of her life on Wednesday night when she found a naked intruder in her home, wearing nothing but a balaclava and masturbating furiously in her living room.

Ms Nagy, from Lismore, NSW, Australia, believes the intruder sneaked in through her unlocked backdoor as she gas-bagged on the phone.

I saw this naked body with a black balaclava wanking
“My dog was barking furiously for about five minutes while I was on the phone,” she said.

“I thought it was just because of the full moon because she stopped barking. But I think she was trying to warn me.”

Later that same evening Ms Nagy went downstairs and caught the intruder red-handed, bashing himself off.

“I saw this naked body with a black balaclava wanking,” Sylvia Nagy told the Northern Star.

“I screamed like you wouldn’t believe. It was so loud that the whole street should have come running. I freaked and he vanished in a puff of smoke.”

Following Ms Nagy’s cries for help her roommate ran to her assistance in case she needed any help beating the intruder off. The police are now searching for the sex pest who is described as medium height and build, with a good tan and in his twenties. The phantom masturbator may be linked to a rape which took place in the area the same morning as Ms Nagy’s home was invaded.

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