Mr Christmas’ Christmas Diet

by Edgar Allan McAbe

Andy Park, known as Mr Christmas because he celebrates Christmas every day of the year has been explaining how the credit crunch has forced him to cut back on his year round Yuletide festivities.

Park, from Melksham, Wiltshire was warned by his doctors that his habit of eating a full Christmas dinner of turkey with all the trimmings every day was slowly killing him, and now partly due to the recession Mr Christmas has had to cut back on the food and booze and has lost three stone this year.

Every single day since 14th July 1994 Andy has lived a routine of a mince pie and champagne breakfast followed by opening the Christmas presents he bought for himself the day before. The self proclaimed Mr Christmas works as a self employed electrician, after work he returns home to watch a video recording of the Queen’s speech and eat a full Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. Mr Christmas claims he’s eaten almost 118,000 sprouts since he changed his lifestyle, God only knows what the effect on the environment is.

But this year Andy was forced to cut back on his Christmas celebrations, rather than a 14lb turkey every day he now eats a diddy four pounder.

“Before the credit crunch I was eating a 14lb turkey, now I’m down to a four pounder. I’ve cut down from nine massive roast potatoes to four. I used to have 40 peas on my plate, now its just a tablespoon. I now have to make a bottle of champagne last two days. From 40 mince pies day I’ve gone to 12 and there’s no double cream.” Andy told the Press Association.

“My 25 sprouts have dwindled to just nine and the stuffing balls have gone from seven to three. But after all that, I feel 100% better and I look better too. I can go walking every day and take the dog out with no problems. I used to be puffing and panting this time a year ago – Now I’m out cycling and can do 50 press ups every day. I used to weigh 19 and a half stone – now I’m a just 16 stone.”

Andy has also cut back on lavish gifts, his Christmas lifestyle was costing him around £11,000 a year but it’s now been slashed to just over £5,000.

Comment

Read All Comments

Leave a comment:

FEATURES AND ARTICLES

Arse Wiping ~ A Brief History
Anyone remember Izal? The tracing paperesque bog roll which smeared rather than cleared excrement from the bunghole and felt like a demon kissing your anus?

Speak Your Brains
Have your say in our superb forum.

Competition
This month The Morningstarr* is giving away a swearing turtle!

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR LATEST NEWS HEADLINES VIA EMAIL

SIGNUP FOR EMAIL DELIVERY HERE:

POP CULTURE NEWS

Summer Glau Joins ‘The Cape’
Summer Glau, star of Firefly, The Sarah Connor Chronicles and Dollhouse has been signed up to play a lead role in NBC’s new superhero show The Cape.

Watch Kate Nash’s Brand New Video
Kate Nash is back on the music scene with a brand new album set for release next month.

Star Trek Hottie Joins Conan Cast
Rachel Nichols who played Gaila, the sexy, green-skinned alien in J.J. Abrams Star Trek has been cast as the female lead in the forthcoming Conan remake.

Mr Christmas’ Christmas Diet

THE MORNINGSTARR* © 2006-2010