You Can’t Polish A Turd

by Earl Morningstarr

Unless it’s a reindeer turd that is, as Miller Park Zoo in Illinois have proven.

The zoo park is launching a new range in reindeer dung jewellery, each necklace features a pendant made from dried crap sprayed with glitter and costs a mere $15.

The zoo already runs a successful line in reindeer poo Christmas tree ornaments, but this year they’re expanding their enterprise so people can adorn themselves with glittery turds. The oily loaves are marketed as “Magical Reindeer Gems” and the idea supposedly came about when one zoo employ told of his mad old grandmother who used to sprinkle chocolate chips on the ground outside their home on Christmas Eve so the fake reindeer crap would encourage Santa and his reindeer to stop. Sounds ludicrous to me, you’re either on Santa’s list or you’re not. Reindeer shit, fake or otherwise is not going to change that.

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You Can’t Polish A Turd

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