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Story published on November 5, 2009

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Urine Wardens To Patrol The Streets Of Ennis

by Earl Morningstarr
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Motivated by the recent publicity created by Ennis shopkeeper John O’Connor who built his own electric fence to protect the facade of his shop being urinated on, the Ennis Town Council have begun discussing ways to combat the problem of drunken revellers pissing in the Ennis streets.

Yesterday the mayor of Ennis said he would back Cllr Paul O’Shea’s plans to introduce Urine Wardens AKA Piss Police, who would patrol the streets in the early hours of the morning looking for people relieving themselves in shop doorways and the like. Although Mayor Frankie Neylon agreed to back the plans, he did recognise the problems that might ensue.

“If our traffic wardens are getting spat at during the day in carrying out their duty, I believe any urine warden would be in a lot of danger at 3 o’clock in the morning”

Ennis Town Council currently spend around £66,500 a year on public toilets in the centre of town. The loos cost 20p to use, and raised £3,500 in revenue last year, but people don’t always have the change to use these type of loos.

Cllr Johnny Flynn made the much more sensible suggestion of simply providing more temporary urinals at the weekends when there is the most demand. Similar schemes have been used in cities all over the world, and with great success. Cllr Brian Meaney of the Green Party suggested publishing photographs of the people urinating in the Ennis streets on a website to name and shame them. I think if Cllr Meaney does a little research he may find that publishing photographs of people urinating might make a very popular website and could in fact raise the revenue required to provide more toilets.

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