News from November 2009

Vicar Fears Dark Forces Are Rising

A Gloucestershire vicar has warned his parishioners that satanic forces may be on the increase after finding a decapitated sheep’s head outside his church.
The Rev Nick Bromfield discovered the severed sheep head mounted on a pole outside his church and immediately sought to warn his congregation that they shouldn’t dabble in the black arts.
“I [...]

Naoko Mori Will Play Yoko Ono In Lennon Biopic

Torchwood star Naoko Mori who played Toshiko “Tosh” Sato in the show has been lined up to play Yoko Ono in a forthcoming biopic entitled Naked Lennon.
The film is being produced by BBC Four and will focus on the period in Lennon’s life where his first marriage falls apart and Yoko Ono comes into his [...]

The World’s Biggest Drink Of Orange Juice

100 Italians at the Festival of the Mandarin in Taranto have set a new world record by squeezing over 5,000 lbs of oranges to produce 697 litres of juice.
The event organisers say that all 5,000 spectators at the festival got a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice to enjoy.
“We had 5,000 spectators who all got [...]

You Can’t Polish A Turd

Unless it’s a reindeer turd that is, as Miller Park Zoo in Illinois have proven.
The zoo park is launching a new range in reindeer dung jewellery, each necklace features a pendant made from dried crap sprayed with glitter and costs a mere $15.
The zoo already runs a successful line in reindeer poo Christmas tree [...]

The World’s Oldest Sheep Dies Aged 23

Lucky, the world’s oldest sheep has died in Australia aged 23, twice the average lifespan of a sheep.
Lucky was hand reared and raised on a farm in Lake Bolac, near Melbourne by owner Delrae Westgarth who found her as an abandoned lamb. Despite living in an air conditioned shed Lucky died from heat exhaustion during [...]

Joshua Jackson To Star In UFO

Fringe star Joshua Jackson has been confirmed as the lead in the new UFO film based on the cult 70s TV show.
Jackson, who plays Peter Bishop in the excellent sci-fi show Fringe on Sky 1 Sunday nights has landed the role of Paul Foster, a test pilot who joins SHADO (Supreme Headquarters Alien Defence Organisation) [...]

Tranny Torched Over Handbag Row

29 year old Gabryela Passos, a Brazilian national has been handed a 20 year prison sentence for setting fire to a transvestite who allegedly stole her handbag.
Passos, originally from Brazil but living in West London dowsed 25 year old female impersonator Ricardo da Silva with petrol at his flat in Birmingham and set fire to [...]

Dog Masturbator Won’t Face Prosecution

The five dog handlers from the Virginia Department of Corrections have had all charges dropped against them after one handler stroked his dog off whilst his colleagues watched and videoed the event.
Kelvin Thompson admitted to masturbating his canine, saying that his instructor had recommended the procedure. Whilst he pleasured the hound his colleagues stood by [...]

Teacher In Ghana “Gingers Up” Pupil

“Ginger up” or “gingering” is a cruel practice used in horse husbandry. A piece of ginger is placed inside the horse’s anus or vagina in order to irritate the animal and cause it to hold it’s tail high and move around more sprightly, like a younger animal. The practice seems cruel enough for use on [...]

Psychoville Series Two

Is unfortunately way off.
The BBC have commissioned six more episodes of the dark comedy, but they won’t be televised until spring 2011. That’s practically two years away.
Some slight encouragement is the added news that a one off special is also going to be produced, for those who can’t wait until 2011 you will be [...]

News from November 2009

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