Q Awards 2009 ~ The Winners

by Peter Jolly

The prestigious Q Awards were held at the Grosvenor House Hotel in London this afternoon and were hosted by comedian Al Murray in his Pub Landlord persona.

Load mouthed buffoons Oasis reportedly snubbed the award ceremony as they lost out to Muse in the Best Act In The World Today category. What did they expect? They can hardly win after they’ve split up, the set of shaven apes.

Other hot gossip centred on Amy Winehouse and her recently augmented knockers. Despite our positive thoughts the troubled singer’s mammaries failed to explode and shower Spandau Ballet with blood and silicone. The empty-headed warbler was supposed to present the Q Inspiration Award to The Specials along with Don Letts, but Amy didn’t show up on time and left Letts standing like a lemon for a few minutes before Al Murray cracked a few gags to pass the time. After Winehouse still didn’t appear Letts went ahead and presented the award alone. Winehouse appeared shortly afterwards staggering through the audience, she made her way up onto the stage and Letts gave her a good bollocking. Hurrah!

Anyway, here’s the full list of winners:

Best New Act: White Lies

Breakthrough Artist: Mr Hudson

Best Video: Lady GaGa – Just Dance

The Q Idol: Spandau Ballet

The Q Inspiration Award: The Specials

Innovation In Sound: Sonic Youth from Zane Lowe

Best Track: Lily Allen – The Fear

The Q Icon: Marianne Faithfull

Classic Song: Frankie Goes To Hollywood – Relax

Q Legend: Edwyn Collins

Best Live Act: Arctic Monkeys

Classic Songwriter: Yusuf formerly Cat Stevens

Outstanding Contribution To Music: Robert Plant

Best Album: Kasabian – West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum

Best Act In The World Today: Muse

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