Piping The Truth Into Your Brainballs!
Story published on September 24, 2009
Charges of animal cruelty have been dropped against a New Jersey policeman after the jury couldn’t decide whether placing your penis in a cows mouth counted as torment.
Moorestown police officer Robert Melia is accused of sticking his penis in the mouths of five calves on a rural Southampton farm in 2006. Although bestiality is outlawed in New Jersey there is no exact definition for the act regarding penetration, so the prosecution settled for a charge of animal cruelty. However the court could not decide whether putting your penis in a calf’s mouth was actually cruel.
“If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, ‘Where’s the milk? I’m not getting any milk,’ ” Judge James J. Morley asked.
The judge told the jury that without knowing exactly how a cow thinks there is no way of knowing whether or not the act was cruel.
Prosecutor Kevin Morgan did not agree, and insisted that Melia had tormented the cattle.
“I think any reasonable juror could infer that a man’s penis in the mouth of a calf is torment,” Morgan told the court.
“It’s a crime against nature.”
Melia may have escaped the animal cruelty charges, but he and his former girlfriend Heather Lewis are also on trial for the sexual abuse of three young girls. The pair were arrested in April 2008 and after one of their alleged victims reported the abuse to her step father. Police investigating discovered child pornography at the couple’s home and also the video of Melia abusing the cows.
The owner of the cows is reported to be very upset by yesterday’s ruling.
FEATURES AND ARTICLES
Celebrity Dead or Alive Game
Try this quiz to see if you can identify which of these famous celebrities are still alive and which are entertaining the underworld.
Speak Your Brains
Have your say in our superb forum.
Competition
This month we’re giving one lucky reader a bottle of absinthe!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR LATEST NEWS HEADLINES VIA EMAIL
POP CULTURE NEWS
‘The Sandman’ television show going into development
Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman comic books are set to become a television show, planning and development have begun the early stages.
Amy Pond to die
Unconfirmed reports are flying around the interwebs saying that Doctor Who actress Karen Gillan will be leaving the show part way through the next series.
Sylvester McCoy ‘Hobbit’ update
Sylvester McCoy has broken his silence on the Hobbit casting rumours surrounding him.
MORE LIKE THIS
LATEST TOP STORIES
AMAZING NEWS
Woman claims to have been bitten by chupacabrasA woman in Texas says she was bitten by the legendary goat-sucker.
Staysha Henderson described the creature which attacked her as a skinny, malnourished grey dog-like animal. Henderson says she found the beast lurking in her camper and initially though it was a thirsty dog, but when she offered the animal some water it scratched her [...]
MORE INCREDIBLE STORIES
Bloke sets new world record for living with snakes
SPEAK YOUR BRAINS
Have your say at the Morningstarr* ForumContact Us
If you have an unusual, bizarre or strange story then we would like to hear about it. Please, drop us a line.MORE SENSATIONAL HEADLINES
Sponsor: