Bear Attacks Woman In Her Own Home

by Earl Morningstarr

An unnamed woman in Aspen, Colorado has been attacked in her home by an angry black bear.

Authorities say the bear opened an unlocked door and and wandered into the woman’s house, when the woman found the bear she began screaming and that is when the bear attacked her. The woman survived with just lacerations to her back and chest.

After the bear lashed out at her the woman ran upstairs and called 911. The bear remained in the house, possibly looking for jars of honey, porridge or picnic baskets, until the police arrived and it swiftly scarpered. And with good reason, the police believe that this particular bear is a serial burglar who has broken into several homes in the area in the past few weeks.

If apprehended the bear faces standard execution. Probably at the hands of one of those gurning idiots in our image.

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Bear Attacks Woman In Her Own Home

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