Piping The Truth Into Your Brainballs!
Story published on July 14, 2009
A Zimbabwean man got the fright of his life this week when he discovered a naked elderly crone sucking “vampirically” on his teenage daughter’s breast.
The ZimDiaspora reports that the tribe’s headsman in the Chivi district told them all about the horrific black magic incident. The tribe headsman, Chinodya Jongore Masunda confirmed to the paper that a woman had been accused of witchcraft following an incident a few nights previously. He said that an unnamed man had consulted a fetish priest following concerns that his teenager daughters had been complaining of breast pain.
The witch doctor gave the man some “holy water” which he explained would enable him to see any paranormal activity in his home. The man sprinkled the holy water around his home, as instructed and waited for nightfall. Once it was dark the man saw an naked, wrinkled, old woman entering his home. He followed the woman inside and witnessed her sucking his teenagers teats.
He said he moved towards the hag and that’s when she realised he could see her, at which point she disappeared into the darkness.
The man recognised the woman and the next day he went to her home with a symbolic branch cut from a tree which is used to accuse people of witchcraft. The woman herself then reported the accusation to the tribe’s headsman, Chinodya Jongore Masunda.
“It is true that there was such a case in my area that I presided over. The man, however, failed to prove his case against the woman and my court convicted him. He was alleging that he had so much faith in the prophet who gave him the holy water and was so convinced that he saw the woman kneeling and sucking the breasts of his teenage girl. Asked why he didn’t catch the woman, the man said the woman quickly vanished into the night after feeling his presence,’’ said headman Masunda.
Because the man lost his case he will now have to pay the fine of 200 rand and a goat, or similar animal.
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