The 2009 Chap Olympiad

July 13, 2009 | Filed under: Sport | Posted by: Earl Morningstarr

Saturday saw the sixth annual Chap Olympiad being held at the Bedford Square Gardens in London.

The event is organised by The Chap magazine and is growing in popularity each year as more and more chaps from around England gather to compete in the games. This years event was sold out well in advance, next year chaps are advised to buy their tickets well in advance.

The day boasts a number of marvelous sporting events, live music, side shows and refreshments. Pimms goes down a treat when competing.

The games include ten events, they’re listed here for you:

Martini Knockout Relay – teams of four must complete a perfect dry martini over a ten-yard course, with the resulting cocktail being judged by a connoisseur
Cucumber Sandwich Discus – individuals must hurl a cucumber sandwich on a china plate, with points deducted for getting earth in the sandwich
Three-Trousered Limbo – pairs of contestants are strapped into huge pairs of trousers with three legs and stumble under a limbo pole, to the strains of calypso rendered by a Brass band
Tug of Hair – Teams of ten tug at the tips of an enormous handlebar moustache, with the added handicap of slippery moustache wax
The Pipeathlon – contestants must complete a gruelling course comprising a 10-yard saunter, ten yards on a bicycle, and ten yards without their feet touching the ground, while maintaining a fully lit pipe
Hop, Skip and G&T – as simple as it sounds, and as difficult to perform with a brimming tumbler of gin and tonic. Spillages count against one’s overall score
Quill Throwing – one for the poets: a quill is thrown at a target, marked with different styles of verse, in which one must recite a suitable stanza
Bounders – a chap must say something so caddish to a lady that he receives a slap. The cad with the reddest face, but the wryest smile, is the winner
Umbrella Jousting – in the medieval tradition, chaps on bicycles approach each other along a boundary and use their brollies to knock each other off, protected by Bowler hats and reinforced copies of the Daily Telegraph
The Great Steeplechase – the nags are chaps in horse’s masks, the jockeys are ladies, and the hurdles are items repugnant to a chap: inflatable hamburgers, lager cans and “chav” mannequins