Just hours after the death of musical weirdo Michael Jackson a witness claims to have seen a bright green light hovering directly above the superstar’s home. All News Web received an e-mail yesterday from a Dave Russo who claims he saw the UFO with his own eyes whilst driving through California at five o’clock yesterday [...]
Continue reading …Nine former SS officers have been jailed in Italy for their parts in the massacre of 350 civilians in the summer of 1944. A tenth defendant was found not guilty, and the last defendant died during the trial. The eleven men were all charged with rounding up men, women and children in the Tuscan town [...]
Continue reading …Manifested Glory Ministries based in Connecticut recently made this outrageous video of an exorcism to cast out the demons of homosexuality. The video shows an allegedly gay 16 year old who is put through the ritual to prevent his gay tendencies. The congregation gather around shouting at the boy as he convulses on the floor. [...]
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Crop circles in Tasmania are being blamed on wallabies high on drugs. Attorney general Lara Giddings told a hearing in Tasmania that she had learned of wallabies eating opium poppies and then hopping round in circles in an intoxicated state. “The one interesting bit that I found recently in one of my briefs on the [...]
Continue reading …Zambian President Rupiah Banda was urinated on today by a cheeky monkey. Mr Banda was speaking at a press conference in the grounds of Zambia’s State House when the dirty primate began relieving himself from a tree top onto the President’s shoulder. “You have urinated on my jacket,” Mr Banda shouted at the monkey. The [...]
Continue reading …Suspected terrorist Andrew Ibrahim told a Winchester court today how he fantasised over Keira Knightley’s feet. The 20 year old from Bristol is charged with terrorist offences after explosives and a “suicide vest” were discovered at his home on 17th April last year. Ibrahim insists he never intended to use the devices to cause harm. [...]
Continue reading …Dave the cat has lost one of his nine lives when some sadistic bastard shot him through the chest with a crossbow bolt. Vets say the arrow narrowly missed piercing the cat’s heart, and Dave was lucky to be alive. His owner, Andrew Childerhouse of Clement, Norfolk described the attack as horrific. “He was shot [...]
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Forest Heath District Council and St Edmundsbury Borough Council have recovered over 1.25 tonnes of human urine discarded in plastic bottles at the side of the A11 and A14 roads in Suffolk. Drivers too lazy to stop for a piss are urinating in empty pop bottles and throwing them from their moving vehicles. The roadside [...]
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Ever since The Three Doctors in 1972, the Doctor has had a habit of running into himself. Not all that surprising for a Time Lord I suppose. The Three Doctors brought together William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton and the then current Doctor Jon Pertwee in an adventure where they had to work together. In 1983 Doctor [...]
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