Blind Blunkett Bashed By Bovine

Former home secretary David Blunkett was attacked by a cow this weekend as he walked through the picturesque Derbyshire countryside with his guide dog Sadie.

Blunkett, Member of Parliament for Sheffield Brightside, was celebrating his 62nd birthday on Saturday when the angry cow charged him in the middle of a field. Brave Blunkett tried to protect his canine companion but was trampled to the ground by the vicious bovine and suffered a broken rib.

The MP told The Sun “I let go of Sadie and she shot off. But the next thing I knew, I’d stumbled to the ground and the animal fell over, too.

“She hit my side and broke my rib. Had her full weight of around a ton hit me, I’d have been a goner.

“I know the public are furious with politicians, but I didn’t realise the anger has spread to Britain’s cow population, too.”

“A few more inches and Labour would have been facing another unwelcome by-election in my Sheffield constituency.”

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