Nasty Surprise For Shopper

by Edgar Allan McAbe

A shopper in Coventry got a nasty surprise when they unpacked their groceries, they discovered a large, hairy aggressive spider in their vegetables.

Donna Hopkins of Holbrooks, Coventry had returned home from shopping at her local Somerfield supermarket with her five children when they began unpacking their groceries. As the family went about their business Mrs Hopkins spotted a large pair of hairy legs in amongst her red and yellow peppers. The quick thinking mum of five grabbed the package and deposited it safely in a Tupperware box, or similar food receptacle.

The authorities were alerted and Coventry Environmental Health officers rushed to the scene with their spider grabber. The arachnid was whisked off to the Natural History museum where boffins and eggheads soon identified the critter as a beastly Tube Web spider, a particularly belligerent species of spider found in mainland Europe which gives a tremendously painful bite that could probably kill someone if they were allergic to Tube Web spider bites. Their venom contains a cocktail of neurotoxins, it causes localised swelling, and the searing pain can last for hours.

The Tube Web spider population in Great Britain is increasing due to specimens stowing away in food packaging. Their numbers are noticeably increasing around ports and docks, but thanks to supermarkets selling imported produce and not supporting the Great British farmer like they claim to be doing, the creepy little buggers could be in a town near you right now. Check under your beds, or better still check their usual habitat which is cracks in walls and under tree bark.

Comment

Read All Comments

Leave a comment:

FEATURES AND ARTICLES

Arse Wiping ~ A Brief History
Anyone remember Izal? The tracing paperesque bog roll which smeared rather than cleared excrement from the bunghole and felt like a demon kissing your anus?

Speak Your Brains
Have your say in our superb forum.

Competition
This month The Morningstarr* is giving away a swearing turtle!

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR LATEST NEWS HEADLINES VIA EMAIL

SIGNUP FOR EMAIL DELIVERY HERE:

POP CULTURE NEWS

Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Xander Tasered By Cops
Actor Nicholas Brendon, who played Xander Harris in Buffy the Vampire Slayer was arrested by police in California today after they tasered him twice.

Summer Glau Joins ‘The Cape’
Summer Glau, star of Firefly, The Sarah Connor Chronicles and Dollhouse has been signed up to play a lead role in NBC’s new superhero show The Cape.

Watch Kate Nash’s Brand New Video
Kate Nash is back on the music scene with a brand new album set for release next month.

Nasty Surprise For Shopper

THE MORNINGSTARR* © 2006-2010