Monkey Vasectomies

by Earl Morningstarr

Brazilian health officials are busy rounding up urban monkeys in the city of Goiania. The population of urban Capuchin monkeys has exploded in recent months, and authorities are determined to keep it under control.

In an effort to contain the monkey population Goiania health officials have agreed to capture and neuter the male monkeys, who each have a harem of females, rather than just shooting the vermin. Here at The Morningstarr* we applaud it.

The monkeys have been proven to hoard nasty infections and diseases, such as yellow fever and possibly bubonic plague. The cute little critters are no danger themselves, but the infections can be passed on to humans by insects like fleas or mosquitoes. Readers may remember the Capuchin monkey, Binks who starred in the disaster movie Outbreak where the brilliant actor managed to pass himself off as an African primate and infect a small American town with Ebola. Binks went on to star in Ace Ventura Pet Detective.

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