Piping The Truth Into Your Brainballs!
Story published on January 28, 2009
44 year old Alexander Kirilov attempted a depraved act of bestiality on a raccoon whilst drunk and pissed on booze.
Kirilov was with some of his drunken comrades in Moscow when he spotted the coon and decided to rape it. Unfortunately for Kirilov the beast fought back and bit off a part of his genital glands.
“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.
Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to repair his damaged copulatory organ.
“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off,” said a comrade.
“That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with.”
Raccoons are North American but were introduced into Russia during the Cold War, possibly to attack penises.
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