Coffee Shrinks Women’s Breasts

by Earl Morningstarr

Swedish boffins have discovered that drinking coffee can have a serious effect on a woman’s breast measurements.

The scientists from Lund University in Sweden studied 300 women, recording details of their breast dimensions and coffee intake. The alarming results showed that drinking as little as three cups of coffee a day could shrink boobs, and the risks increased the more coffee consumed.

“Drinking coffee can have a major effect on breast size,” said Helena Jernstroem, top boffin at Lund University in Sweden.

“Coffee-drinking women do not have to worry their breasts will shrink to nothing overnight. They will get smaller, but the breasts aren’t just going to disappear. However, anyone who thinks they can tell which women are coffee drinkers just from their bra measurements will be disappointed. The problem is that there are two measures for a bra, the cup size and the girth, so you wouldn’t be able to tell.”

Although this all sounds like bad news for breast lovers, the good news is drinking coffee helps reduce the risk of breast cancer. They may be smaller, but at least they’re longer lasting.

Comment

Read All Comments

Leave a comment:

FEATURES AND ARTICLES

Arse Wiping ~ A Brief History
Anyone remember Izal? The tracing paperesque bog roll which smeared rather than cleared excrement from the bunghole and felt like a demon kissing your anus?

Speak Your Brains
Have your say in our superb forum.

Competition
This month The Morningstarr* is giving away a swearing turtle!

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR LATEST NEWS HEADLINES VIA EMAIL

SIGNUP FOR EMAIL DELIVERY HERE:

POP CULTURE NEWS

Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Xander Tasered By Cops
Actor Nicholas Brendon, who played Xander Harris in Buffy the Vampire Slayer was arrested by police in California today after they tasered him twice.

Summer Glau Joins ‘The Cape’
Summer Glau, star of Firefly, The Sarah Connor Chronicles and Dollhouse has been signed up to play a lead role in NBC’s new superhero show The Cape.

Watch Kate Nash’s Brand New Video
Kate Nash is back on the music scene with a brand new album set for release next month.

Coffee Shrinks Women’s Breasts

THE MORNINGSTARR* © 2006-2010