Piping The Truth Into Your Brainballs!
Story published on October 24, 2008
Coffee Shrinks Women’s Breasts
by Earl Morningstarr
Swedish boffins have discovered that drinking coffee can have a serious effect on a woman’s breast measurements.
The scientists from Lund University in Sweden studied 300 women, recording details of their breast dimensions and coffee intake. The alarming results showed that drinking as little as three cups of coffee a day could shrink boobs, and the risks increased the more coffee consumed.
“Drinking coffee can have a major effect on breast size,” said Helena Jernstroem, top boffin at Lund University in Sweden.
“Coffee-drinking women do not have to worry their breasts will shrink to nothing overnight. They will get smaller, but the breasts aren’t just going to disappear. However, anyone who thinks they can tell which women are coffee drinkers just from their bra measurements will be disappointed. The problem is that there are two measures for a bra, the cup size and the girth, so you wouldn’t be able to tell.”
Although this all sounds like bad news for breast lovers, the good news is drinking coffee helps reduce the risk of breast cancer. They may be smaller, but at least they’re longer lasting.
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