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Story published on September 14, 2008

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Noel Edmonds Loses It On Live Television

by Peter Jolly
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In an interview on the BBC’s Breakfast News Edmonds not only strongly criticised the BBC and it’s TV Licensing policies, but also revealed that he believes his dead parents follow him around as glowing melon-sized orbs.

Noel Edmonds, the true King of British light entertainment, spoke out about how the BBC are funded and stated that he would rather go to prison than pay the licence fee to a company who ‘badgers, hectors and threatens people’.

But even more bizarrely Edmonds also explained how the souls of his deceased parents follow him around in the shape of “small planets” which can be seen using digital photography.

He said: ‘Orbs are little bundles of positive energy and they think they can move between 500 and 1,000 miles per hour.

‘They look like little round planets but they come in all shapes and sizes.’

He added: ‘Conventional photography can’t pick them up but digital cameras can.

‘My belief is that these are something to do with some form of positive energy.

‘And possibly because I miss my parents like mad, I like to think they are them.

‘I’ve got loads of photographs of me at home with two orbs that visit me.

‘The two that I have are about the size of melons. One sits on my arm and the other is usually in the back of the shot, sitting just over my right shoulder.’

Edmonds was introduced to the New Age philosophy of Cosmic Ordering by his girlfriend Liz Davies two years ago. Since following the strange lifestyle choice he has seen his career begin to soar once more.

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