2008 September | The Morningstarr*

33 year old Sowedi Kimera has been arrested in Uganda on suspicion of cannibalism. Police raided Kimera’s Kireka home on Thursday after being alerted to a corpse on the premises.

Mr Kimera was arrested in the early hours of Thursday morning after residents and Local Council officials tipped the Police of an unidentified body in his house. Police say they searched the house on Wednesday evening and discovered the body of a woman in Kimera’s living room, they traced Kimera to a local bar and arrested him on suspicion of cannibalism. Local residents attempted to lynch Kimera as he was taken into custody.

The dead woman found in Kimera’s home is believed to be Annet Mbabazi, a resident of Kireka. Mr Kimera reportedly checked her body out of the town morgue on Wednesday night, but he gave no explanation as to how or why he took the body. Mr Kimera is no relation to the deceased but says she was his ex-girlfriend.

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Lose Weight With Lizard Spit

Drugs derived from the toxic saliva of the venomous Gila Monster have been used for some time now to treat diabetics, but studies have revealed that the “lizard spit” also helps patients to lose weight.

Hormone’s found in Gila Monster saliva are used in the drug Byetta to help people suffering from diabetes to control their blood sugar levels. The Gila Monster is one of only two species of venomous lizard that exist in the world today. It produces a neurotoxin from the saliva glands in it’s lower jaw, but unlike a snake who has fangs the Gila Monster administers it’s poison by chewing the flesh. Fortunately the handsome little devils are quite sloth like and don’t attack people often. The venom is believed to be solely for self defence and not for hunting, the lizard eats mostly stolen eggs.

A brand new study starting this month is hoping to discover exactly how the hormones from the lizard’s saliva is causing patients taking the drug Byetta to lose weight.

Noel Edmonds Loses It On Live Television

Noel Edmonds In an interview on the BBC’s Breakfast News Edmonds not only strongly criticised the BBC and it’s TV Licensing policies, but also revealed that he believes his dead parents follow him around as glowing melon-sized orbs.

Noel Edmonds, the true King of British light entertainment, spoke out about how the BBC are funded and stated that he would rather go to prison than pay the licence fee to a company who ‘badgers, hectors and threatens people’.

But even more bizarrely Edmonds also explained how the souls of his deceased parents follow him around in the shape of “small planets” which can be seen using digital photography.

He said: ‘Orbs are little bundles of positive energy and they think they can move between 500 and 1,000 miles per hour.

‘They look like little round planets but they come in all shapes and sizes.’

He added: ‘Conventional photography can’t pick them up but digital cameras can.

‘My belief is that these are something to do with some form of positive energy.

‘And possibly because I miss my parents like mad, I like to think they are them.

‘I’ve got loads of photographs of me at home with two orbs that visit me.

‘The two that I have are about the size of melons. One sits on my arm and the other is usually in the back of the shot, sitting just over my right shoulder.’

Edmonds was introduced to the New Age philosophy of Cosmic Ordering by his girlfriend Liz Davies two years ago. Since following the strange lifestyle choice he has seen his career begin to soar once more.

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Shark Fisherman Who Inspired Jaws Dies

Quint Frank Mundus was a legendary shark hunter based in Montauk, Long Island and was the inspiration for Peter Benchley’s Captain Quint from Jaws.

Mundus died this week aged 82 at Honolulu’s Queen’s Medical Center from complications following a heart attack. Mundus was born in New Jersey in 1925 and began shark fishing off the coast of Montauk in the 1950s, he holds the record for catching the biggest great white sharks using rod and reel.

Jaws author Peter Benchley was in Montauk in 1968 and was fascinated with Mundus. The writer would watch Mundus head out to sea in a relatively tiny boat and hunt for killer great whites that were practically the same size as his vessel. Just like Benchley’s character Quint, Mundus would harpoon the huge beasts and run with them till they tired before pulling them alongside his boat and shooting them with a rifle.

Frank Mundus

Benchley tried denying the connection with Mundus, but the similarities are obvious. A close friend of Mundus who knew him for over 30 years had this to say.

“The movie was based 100 percent on him. Everything that they talked about in that move came directly from him.”

Mundus himself didn’t seem to be a huge fan of the film,

“It was the funniest and the stupidest movie I’ve ever seen . . . no shark can pull a boat backwards at a fast speed with a light line and stern cleats that are only held in there by two bolts,” he said. “And I’ve never boiled shark jaws. If you do, you’ll only end up with a bunch of teeth at the bottom of your bucket because the jaw cartilage melts.”

But that’s the kind of response one would expect from such a mean character. The fishing legend even described himself as “aggravating”.

Frank Mundus retired to Hawaii in 1991 with his wife Jeanette who was 38 years his junior, but he returned to Montauk every summer to fish. Mundus grew concerned by the over fishing of the seas with commercial fishing boats, and began work to preserve shark populations. He fully endorsed a shark fishing system where the animals are tagged and then released.

The fishing community of Montauk had this to say about Frank,

“If they don’t build a monument for him in Montauk, it would be a shame. He put it on the map.”

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RAF Commander Makes UFO Claim

Wing Commander Alan Turner An ex-RAF Wing Commander who was a chief operator of the RAF’s radar system for 29 years has revealed how he and up to 30 colleagues tracked a fleet of high speed UFOs as they raced across the skies.

Wing Commander Alan Turner spoke of an incident which dates back to 1971, he says that 35 super-fast craft appeared on radar in perfect formation and traveled silently at impossible speeds across part of southern England. The unidentified craft were able to climb from 3,000ft to 60,000ft at speeds of up to 300mph.

“I instantly knew this wasn’t a convoy of military planes.” he said.

“The only craft with that rate of climb were supersonic lightning aircraft but they wouldn’t have been able to hold such a perfect formation.

“They also make a lot of noise.

“No one heard a thing on the night in question.”

Wing Commander Turner, who is an MBE, was ordered by Ministry of Defence top brass never to speak of what he had seen that night. He will be guest speaker at the Close Encounters conference in Pontefract, West Yorks, next month.

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Teenagers Eaten By Satanists

Some Goths Four teenagers have been ritually murdered and eaten by suspected satanists in a rural Russian village.

The three girls and one boy aged between 16 and 17 were all Goths who were lured to a quiet country cottage in Yaroslavl by alleged satanists and stabbed 666 times in a supposed ritual murder.

The victims were plied with alcohol then brutally stabbed and dismembered. The murderous group then made a bonfire and cooked and ate the victims body parts.

Eight suspects have been arrested by Russian police.

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The MySpace Murderess

MySpace Murderess Jodi Ann Arias is standing trial for the first degree murder of her ex-boyfriend Travis Alexander.

Mr Alexander was discovered with his throat slashed from ear to ear, decomposing in his shower back in June this year. A digital camera found at the scene of the crime has revealed a startling insight into Mr Alexander’s final hours alive.

The camera was found in the washing machine at Mr Alexander’s Arizona home, it was badly water damaged but the memory card was salvaged and deleted photographs on it were restored to reveal important information regarding the gruesome murder.

Pictures on the memory card showed Jodi Ann Arias posing naked and provocatively on Mr Alexander’s bed at around 13:40hrs on the afternoon of June 4th. Later pictures show Mr Alexander naked in the shower at 17:22hrs and at 17:30hrs the photos show Mr Alexander bleeding to death on his bathroom floor.

In the fatal attack Mr Alexander suffered 26 stab wounds, his throat slit and a single gunshot wound to the face. DNA and bloody palm prints also place Miss Arias at the scene of the crime, but she has denied seeing Mr Alexander since April 2008 and is pleading not guilty to the charges against her.

On Miss Arias’ MySpace page she started a tribute photo album in remembrance of Mr Alexander, here is her profile. MySpace Jodi Arias.

Miss Arias has been described by Mr Alexander’s friends and family as “obsessive”, they were in a relationship for five months in 2007 but remained sexual partners after the relationship ended in June 2007.

Jodi Ann Arias

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Snakes On A Plane

Scenes on an Air India flight this week resembled the plot to the Samuel L Jackson film Snakes On A Plane.

The Air India A319 was thrown into turmoil when a snake was found coiled under one of the passengers seats. The plane had been on a domestic flight from Srinagar to Delhi when it was undergoing pre-flight checks before it’s next journey. The snake was disturbed during these checks and managed to slither away from the aircraft crew and escape into the air vents.

“There was commotion which scared the snake and it went further inside,” an airport official was quoted as saying by the Hindustan Times.

“The aircraft was parked at Delhi airport for maintenance purposes. There was a snake but not a cobra,” he continued.

“We have no details of what kind of a snake it was, or where it is now. We have taken up this matter with Delhi airport authorities.”

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DNA Could Identify The Stronsay Beast

In 1808 a mysterious sea creature was washed up on a beach in Orkney. The monster carcass, which many say resembled a Nessie type creature, has been partly preserved and now bone fragments are going to be tested to establish exactly what the legendary beast really is.

Stronsay Beast

Some marine experts have speculated that the beast may have been a Basking Shark, but with a carcass measuring 55ft it would have to be an exceptionally large Basking Shark. Looking at drawings made of the beast, it was said to have a long neck like many other sea monsters around the world and there have been obvious comparisons with that other Scottish cryptid the Loch Ness Monster.

Now geneticist Yvonne Simpson, who has been studying the creature for seven years, believes she can extract DNA from recently found bone fragments given to her by a private collector. She will be sending the samples, if successful, to a Florida based laboratory that holds a shark DNA database.

“At 55ft long this would be an unusually big basking shark, and it’s far more likely to belong to another member of the shark family.” She told reporters.

Parts of the Stronsay Beast are still kept on display at Royal Museum of Scotland in Edinburgh.

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Henry Rollins and Charles Manson Were Pen Pals

Henry Rollins has revealed in an interview with NME that he and celebrity criminal Charles Manson used to correspond by mail.

Punk star Rollins explained that Manson began writing to him in the early 80s after seeing him perform with Black Flag on MTV.

“He wrote me a letter out of the blue once and he said, ‘I saw you on MTV and I thought you were pretty cool’. Rollins told NME.

“So we corresponded a few times in 1984; I’d just tell him about what we were doing with our new record and he’d send back semi-lucid responses.

“He made references to The Beach Boys stealing his ideas, which sounded like sour grapes, and told me to tell everybody else to take care of wildlife. That must have been the old hippy in him talking.”

Rollins told the NME how the letters made him feel “intense and heavy”, and he always knew when a letter had arrived from Manson as the post office worker would give him strange looks. Manson’s letters were always marked with swastikas.

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