Stig Of The Dump Terrorises Stafford

by Jason Clarke

Cannock Chase in Stafford has long been a hotbed for prolific sightings of unusual beasts and apparitions. For years witnesses have reported seeing alleged werewolves or ape-men at the local beauty spot, and the mysterious creatures are being blamed for missing pets and discovered animal carcasses.

In the past claims have been made that the area is being stalked by anything ranging from a British Bigfoot, escaped big cats, ghosts, aliens or even werewolves. But this week a supposed “expert” in the Cannock Chase phenomena has suggested that the mysterious pet disappearances and the sighting of large hairy beasts isn’t a Yeti or a lycanthrope but is in fact a subterranean stone age man.

The unnamed expert, who wishes to remain anonymous, backs up his claim by citing the vast underground tunnels below Cannock Chase which are remnants of centuries of mining in the area.

What he doesn’t explain is how the “cavemen” got to be in these tunnels. Were they always there living underground and the mining disturbed them? Or have they traveled in time like the fictional modern day caveman Stig of the Dump?

Nicholas Duffy, spokesman for the West Midlands Ghost Club a group of paranormal investigators based in the West Midlands with a substantial history in paranormal investigations, has plenty of experience of visiting the Cannock Chase area and has had lots of correspondence with witnesses of unusual happenings on the Chase. He told The Morningstarr* that the latest theory is laughable drivel and simply “the inane mutterings of a particularly silly bloke”.

Duffy’s expert opinion is that the events on Cannock Chase don’t warrant any serious investigation and the stories are being sensationalised by local press. Perhaps it will take the alleged corpse of a subterranean dog thief being photographed in a hunter’s freezer before the world really takes any notice of our anonymous “expert’s” theory.

If you have any information on the Cannock Chase beasts e-mail us at newsdesk@morningstarr.co.uk

Comment

Read All Comments

Leave a comment:

FEATURES AND ARTICLES

Arse Wiping ~ A Brief History
Anyone remember Izal? The tracing paperesque bog roll which smeared rather than cleared excrement from the bunghole and felt like a demon kissing your anus?

Speak Your Brains
Have your say in our superb forum.

Competition
This month The Morningstarr* is giving away a swearing turtle!

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR LATEST NEWS HEADLINES VIA EMAIL

SIGNUP FOR EMAIL DELIVERY HERE:

POP CULTURE NEWS

Summer Glau Joins ‘The Cape’
Summer Glau, star of Firefly, The Sarah Connor Chronicles and Dollhouse has been signed up to play a lead role in NBC’s new superhero show The Cape.

Watch Kate Nash’s Brand New Video
Kate Nash is back on the music scene with a brand new album set for release next month.

Star Trek Hottie Joins Conan Cast
Rachel Nichols who played Gaila, the sexy, green-skinned alien in J.J. Abrams Star Trek has been cast as the female lead in the forthcoming Conan remake.

Stig Of The Dump Terrorises Stafford

THE MORNINGSTARR* © 2006-2010