Bigfoot Announcement Disappointing

by Jason Clarke

Following Wednesday’s news story that two hunter’s in America were planing a press conference to announce the discovery of a Bigfoot in Georgia, The Morningstarr* is disappointed to report that the conference was far from enlightening.

The two men making the outrageous claim that they had the body of a Bigfoot in their freezer were Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer. At the press conference they failed to deliver any compelling proof, despite claiming to possess a corpse of one of the legendary cryptids the two men didn’t produce a scrap of physical evidence to prove it’s existence. Not even the DNA sample they seemed so proud of.

All the men did show the room full of press reporters and photographers were an old video of an alleged Bigfoot sighting, and alleged DNA results taken from the mysterious hairy corpse. Even these DNA reports were vague and useless, there is no DNA data bank to compare the samples to all they can tell us it what the creature isn’t. If it even does actually exist.

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