Leysi SuarezPeru’s Government are trying to jail a nude model who posed naked on horseback using the country’s flag as a saddle.

Leysi Suarez was snapped naked, with her most intimate parts pressed against the nation’s flag as she rode on a horse. The picture was used as the cover shot for DFarandula magazine in Peru.

“These are patriotic symbols that demand total respect, and using them improperly requires punishment,” defence Minister Antero Flores told reporters. “This is an offence.”

If successfully prosecuted Leysi could face up to four years in prison, defending herself from violent lesbians. Peru is nearing it’s important anniversary of 187 years since they gained independence from Spain, and the outrageous actions of Miss Suarez are seen as highly offensive to any red blooded Peruvian patriot.

Leysi had this to say:

“I haven’t committed a crime. I love Peru and show it with my body and soul,”

And she does so very well. But a top Peruvian lawyer told us that “It’s one thing to cover your body with the flag, but quite another thing to be naked and using it as a horse’s saddle”.

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Kwok Chun-wai has made history by being the first person ever to be sent to prison for uploading pornographic images to the internet.

Kwok from Hong Kong was convicted under Chinese law which forbids the production, duplication, selling or circulation of pornographic products. The 24 year old was caught uploading 140 explicit images of Edison Chen who has recently been at the centre of an internet sex scandal.

Since the Chen scandal the Chinese Police have been said to have started a “witch hunt” for those responsible for uploading the pictures, and China’s most popular search engine Baidu has been censored and reprimanded for linking to the explicit pics. Even Triad gangs have put out contracts on Chen’s life!

Kwok was sentenced to two months in prison for his part in the scandal, and the Chinese authorities seem to be doing a pretty good job as The Morningstarr* was unfortunately unable to track down the infamous images.

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Evelyn Wright, from Bolton-le-Sands in Lancashire was said to be shocked and stunned last week when she was almost attacked by a snake in the car park of the St Nicholas Arcades shopping centre in Lancaster.

As Evelyn approached her car her husband, who’s asked to remain anonymous, bellowed to her to stay back. Ignoring his warning cry Mrs Wright ventured further and caught sight of the serpent as it slithered away.

“It must have been four or five feet long.” She said.

The snake was later identified as a harmless corn snake that must have escaped from a pet shop or someone’s home. It is currently in RSPCA custody.

Corn Snake

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Michelle RyanEx-EastEnders actress Michelle Ryan will be appearing in the BBC’s latest fantasy TV show, Merlin. Ryan left EastEnders in 2005 and has since gone on to much greater things, she appeared in the much acclaimed Jekyll and last year took the starring role as Jamie Sommers in the remake of 70s classic TV show The Bionic Woman. Unfortunately the strike by the Writers Guild of America seems to have destroyed the chances of a second season for Bionic Woman, but hopefully Michelle will impress again playing the wicked sorceress Nimueh in the BBC’s new show which tells the tale of a young Merlin and Arthur as they reach adulthood in Camelot. It sounds like a Smallville-esque reworking of the Arthurian legend.

The main cast are Merlin, Arthur and Guinevere played by relative new-comers Colin Morgan, Bradley James and Angel Coulby respectively. But there is a stellar supporting cast, besides the aforementioned Michelle Ryan the cast also includes Alien and Hellboy star John Hurt as the voice of a dragon, Santiago Cabrera known for playing Isaac Mendez in the awesome Heroes does a turn as the iconic Lancelot and Buffy the Vampire Slayer star Anthony Head is also included in the cast playing Pendragon.

The BBC are hoping this relatively big budget fantasy drama will succeed in filling the Saturday night void Doctor Who has left behind since the season finale aired two weeks ago.

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An unnamed 41 year old Polish man has died at London’s Vauxhall train station after urinating on the stations live rail.

It was today confirmed by British Transport Police that on 12th of July the man walked onto the tracks from platform 1 to find a quiet spot to relieve himself, but inadvertently pissed on the live rail which was carrying 750 volts of electricity. He was electrocuted and died at the scene.

The man was said to be a happily married teacher staying in England to improve his English skills.

There are no public toilets at Vauxhall Station.

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American tennis star Ashley Harkleroad, currently ranked 61st in the world, has posed naked in Playboy Magazine.

Ashley Harkleroad Playboy

The 23 year old tennis ace had an all time career high back in 2003 when she was ranked as highly as number 39 in the world. To date she has prize wins estimated at around $100,000.

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Alan PattonAlan Patton, the infamous urine drinker from Ohio is still trying to fulfill his sexual fantasies involving young boy’s urine, and the police are unable to stop him because he simply isn’t breaking the law.

Patton was arrested on 14 June this year for “criminal mischief” when he was discovered in a public restroom placing plastic cups in urinals and cling film over toilet bowls to collect children’s urine to drink. But without having any actual physical contact with the children, or exposing himself sexually to the boys, he isn’t breaking any child sex laws.

Whilst on bail for the incident in June police were called to a public toilet at a swimming pool where Patton was loitering, but they were unable to arrest him as he wasn’t actually committing a crime.

There is no specific law that prohibits the collection of urine, in 1993 Patton was sentenced to four years in prison because he physically touched two young boys as he collected their urine. Patton had constructed a makeshift screen from two bin bags and cut a hole in the centre. He instructed the two boys, aged nine and seven, that the urinals were out of order and they would have to pee through the hole in the screen. As the boys complied Patton attached tubes to their penises and drank their urine.

Patton was charged with rape, gross sexual imposition and kidnapping. He denied the charges arguing that he didn’t touch the boys and was only convicted for sexual imposition and unlawful restraint.

Since that conviction Patton hasn’t been arrested for physically interfering with a child, but his fetish still continues. He has been arrested for voyeurism and public indecency as he watched young boys using public toilets whilst he masturbated.

But now Patton is even more careful, he restricts his actions to merely collecting the urine and hasn’t been exposing himself publicly. At present there is no actual law against what he is doing, but residents in Ohio are calling for the law to be changed to completely prohibit Patton’s “deviant” behaviour.

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Black and White TwinsA mixed race couple in Germany have become the proud parents of twin boys, Ryan, who came first, weighing 5.8 lbs, has light colored skin, blue eyes, and dark hair. His brother Leo, weighing 5.7 lbs, has dark skin and dark eyes.

Their mother, Florence Addo-Gerth is originally from Ghana and the father Stephan Gerth is a white native of Germany.

Medical staff at Berlin Hospital were surprised by the birth, but have confirmed the babies both have the same father.

Different coloured twins are extremely rare, even to mixed race parents. Doctors at the hospital believe this genetic surprise was only possible if one of Florence’s ancestors was white or one of Stephan’s ancestors were African.

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The Keelback snake eats poisonous toads and then uses the toad’s poison as it’s own defence mechanism. Pretty clever little chaps, but this one bit off more than it could chew!

Cane Toad Eats Snake

The Cane Toad, seen here devouring one of it’s few natural predators, is a well known menace. It was introduced into Australia in 1935 in a bid to control insect pests, but due to it’s toxic nature and voracious appetite it has run rampant and become a nuisance.

A Cane Toad will eat, or attempt to eat practically anything that will fit in it’s mouth. It has few natural predators besides the Keelback, and the toxins it secretes are a danger to farm livestock and pets.

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Controversial photographer Andres Serrano is busy preparing a brand new exhibition that will run from September 4 until October 4 in New York this autumn.

A source close to the artist has revealed that Serrano is continuing with his “bodily fluids” theme which in the past has included images depicting menstrual blood, mother’s milk, semen and most controversially urine in the scandalous work entitled “Piss Christ”. Piss Christ was first exhibited in 1989 and is a photograph of a plastic crucifixion submerged in a container of the photographer’s own urine.

Piss Christ

This time around however Serrano is rumoured to have moved on to faeces. Unfortunately the photographer is so paranoid his creative ideas may be stolen he is refusing to divulge any more information. Readers will just have to wait until Serrano’s latest masterpiece is unveiled in September, watch this space.

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