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Story published on July 29, 2008

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When Nudes Attack

by Earl Morningstarr
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A 74 year old naked sunbather has attacked and injured a man using a telescopic police baton.

Oregon State police report that Josh Meiller unwittingly landed his boat on a stretch of nudist beach, his two Chihuahuas immediately leapt from the craft and startled a stark naked geriatric who was trying to bronze his bits and pieces in the midday sun.

The old timer jumped, or clambered to his feet and began to beat the dogs before turning his attention to Meiller and assaulting him with a telescopic police baton in front of his children.

Mieller was left with cuts and bruises, and a headache after the attack. The eldster was arrested by police for menacing and assault.

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