Story published on July 7, 2008

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Urine Revives Coma Victim

by Earl Morningstarr
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A man left in a coma after being attacked with a charm bracelet was miraculously cured after drinking his wife’s urine.

23 year old Saheed Tijani from the Agege area of Lagos in Nigeria got into a dispute with a work colleague, Kabiru Olabie, over a pair of pliers. Kabiru Olabie, who is commonly known as Bin Laden, pulled a charm belt on the unsuspecting Saheed and struck him with it.

It is reported that Saheed immediately fell into a deep coma, a direct result of being struck by the charm and a clear indication the charm was a magical weapon. “Bin Laden” was duly pounced on by the rest of the workshop staff and received a severe beating which was only prevented from becoming a full blown lynching when a passing policeman intervened.

The gathered crowd’s attention then turned to helping the poor unconscious Saheed, fortunately an elderly member of the group suggested that inviting Saheed’s wife to urinate in his mouth would reverse the ill effects of the charm. Saheed’s wife Alimat was summoned to the scene of the crime and without hesitation squatted over Saheed’s face and urinated in his mouth. The moment the urine passed his lips Saheed miraculously sprang back to life, and the crowd cheered with joy.

Saheed was then taken, along with the charm and “Bin Laden” to the local village leader, or Baale. “Bin Laden” then confessed that the charm was indeed responsible for causing the coma, and also told the Baale that nine pieces of alligator pepper were also required to fully treat Saheed and return him to full health.

The alligator peppers were gathered and administered, and “Bin Laden” signed an undertaking that Saheed would suffer no further ill effect for the next five years.

Then everyone returned to work happy that the event was behind them.

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