2008 July | The Morningstarr*

Chanelle and Dwarf Former Big Brother babe Chanelle Hayes attended the premiere of the new X-Files film last night, accompanied by a dwarf model.

Chanelle, who is known for her rather desperate measures to snare some column inches, towered over her diddy-date on the red carpet. The unnamed model is the star of the latest Intercasino advertising campaign, where he plays a James Bond-esque man of mystery.

Chanelle is still playing on her tenuously vague likeness of Victoria Beckham and attempting a pop career, but this latest stunt only just out does her controversial sex tape where she has simulated sex with a puppet, to advertise MTV’s Fur TV

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Body Found In Anthony Hopkins’ Freezer

Police have arrested Anthony Hopkins in connection with the body of a woman found in his freezer. Police believe the woman to be Hopkins’ wife, 36 year old Aletha who has not been seen in public for three years. Authorities are currently waiting for the body to completely thaw before they can make a full identification and determine the cause of death.

Hopkins, 37 from Alabama was attending church on Monday night with seven of his eight children when he was arrested by cops investigating the discovery. The alarm was raised when a 19 year old, possibly one of Hopkins children, went to the Child Advocacy Center to report being raped by an older man.

Hopkins is being held on charges of murder, rape, sodomy, sex abuse and incest. Hannibal Lecter, the character played by Hopkins’ famous namesake would no doubt be impressed.

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When Nudes Attack

A 74 year old naked sunbather has attacked and injured a man using a telescopic police baton.

Oregon State police report that Josh Meiller unwittingly landed his boat on a stretch of nudist beach, his two Chihuahuas immediately leapt from the craft and startled a stark naked geriatric who was trying to bronze his bits and pieces in the midday sun.

The old timer jumped, or clambered to his feet and began to beat the dogs before turning his attention to Meiller and assaulting him with a telescopic police baton in front of his children.

Mieller was left with cuts and bruises, and a headache after the attack. The eldster was arrested by police for menacing and assault.

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Aberdeen Ghostbusters

Team Leader Rachael Hayward The East of Scotland Paranormal Society have just finished an investigation into the haunting of Aberdeen’s Central Library.

The group which formed in 2007 are committed to trying to provide the general public with reliable information on paranormal phenomena. They have already conducted a number of investigations, and the latest at Aberdeen Central Library provided one or two spooky results.

One investigator reported hearing footsteps in the basement, which were not picked up on the recording equipment. Other members of the team reported hearing the sound of a bell ringing and a strange whispering voice.

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Dorset Snake Attack

Mollie Hawker A 10 year old girl was rushed to hospital after suffering a snake bite when an adder attacked her.

Mollie Hawker was walking with her family on Turbary Common, Bournemouth when the snake bit her toe. After a few minutes Mollie was in so much pain she was unable to walk and had to be carried, her leg began to swell to enormous proportions, first turning red then a nasty looking black and purple.

Initially Mollie was instructed by her parents to raise her injured leg to try to alleviate the swelling, but when this failed she was taken to Poole hospital for treatment. She was placed on an intravenous morphine drip to combat the severe pain, given antibiotics and hooked up to a heart monitor.

Mollie’s mum, Karen Hawker is now warning parents not to make the same mistakes she did on that fateful day. The advice given by health experts is to always keep a snake bite lower than the heart to prevent the poison from spreading too quickly and seek urgent help.

Mollie has a painful looking black blister where the snake bit her, but is otherwise well on the way to a full recovery.

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Multiple Murder In India

Reji Kumar Police in the Indian town of Pattambi have arrested a man on suspicion of murdering his wife and four children.

Reji Kumar is believed to have confessed to killing his wife, who he suspected of cheating on him and dumping her body in the septic tank at his property.

Reji is also believed to have raped his 12 year old daughter before strangling her to death, post mortem reports confirm she was sexually attacked shortly before being killed.

Police were called to the Kumar residence when two of Reji’s dead children were spotted lying on the floor in the house last Wednesday. On Friday a search of the property and surrounding area led to the police discovering Reji’s two other children murdered and dumped in bushes near to the house in sacks. Reji’s wife Lissy was then dead in the septic tank.

Reji Kumar was arrested on Sunday when he was found in the Kottayam district.

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Fish With Legs

A Florida woman got a surprise this weekend when she caught a strange looking fish with legs!

Fish With Legs

Shawna Mitchell pulled the strange looking creature from a Central Florida lake and sent photos of the weird animal to a local news station. Since the news show aired the photos they have been inundated with e-mails with a host of suggestions as to what this limbed-fish actually is.

Suggestions include lung fish, mud puppy eel, salamander and Chinese walking fish. What do you think it is? Tell us here.

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Another Albino Murder In Tanzania

African Albino Tanzania police have reported that yet another albino has been murdered in the country to harvest his body parts, that makes the total 26 in less than a year.

Jovin Majaliwa lived in a remote part of Tanzania with his albino wife and children, two of which are also albino. On Thursday night after dark a gang of unidentified assailants barged into the Majaliwa home and attacked Jovin and his wife.

Jovin Majaliwa died from his injuries when the gang hacked off his right foot and genitals with machetes and knives. His wife was also injured in the attack but fortunately survived and is being treated in hospital.

Police are now looking after the Majaliwa’s two albino children as their safety is in doubt.

The Morningstarr* reported in June the increasing number of attacks on albinos in Tanzania due to witch doctors requesting albino body parts to form spells to make people rich. The albinos are known as “sope”, which means “lucky”, but as one albino living in Tanzania pointed out they aren’t very lucky at all.

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Nigerian Black Magic Scandal

Fetish Priest Lawmakers in the Nigerian State of Ekiti are recruiting “prayer warriors” to assist them in their fight against Black Magic assailants.

The voodoo plot is alleged to centre around Ekiti State House of Assembly speaker Femi Bamisile who was impeached on the 9th July after being found guilty of the theft of 18 fire extinguishers from a university in 1989.

On Wednesday this week chaos ensued when a Juju act took place in the assembly chamber. Despite the chamber being securely locked a fetish substance was left on the seats of the lawmakers in what is believed to be an attempt to pervert the course of justice.

“We were jolted by the reports that marabouts had invaded the Assembly chambers to plant fetish substances on the seats diabolically to harm legislators who might be too strong to break.” Said a spokesman for the assembly.
“The intention of the hatchers of this heinous plot was to sacrifice not too few honourable members as eternal ransom to an ousted legislative leadership that had expired in morals, virtues and value.”

Some of the 26 lawmakers that attend the assembly have vowed never to step foot in the chamber until they are certain of their spiritual safety, and others are in fear of their lives.

A prayer session was held on Thursday to try to nullify the fetish, one lawmaker gave this comment,

“we believe with the prayer, whatever the juju was meant for would not come to pass, because the power of God is above all other powers,”

Latest Bigfoot Sighting

Bigfootprint Bigfoot has been spotted again, and a huge footprint showing the creature has six toes has been discovered at the site he was seen.

Helen Pahpasay and her mother spotted the sasquatch as they drove through Grassy Narrows, Kenora in Canada towards a blueberry picking site in the woods.

“I seen a black, um … thing,” Pahpasay said. “It was tall and lanky and it was walking towards our way.

“I thought I was seeing things, so I didn’t say anything,” she said. “I looked over to my mom and she was rubbing her eyes.”

“It was just walking casually,” Helen said. “I know it wasn’t an animal, cause it was upright. It was human like, like the way we walk.”

The two women fled in fear, but when they reached home the whole family banded together to try and find the bigfoot. What they discovered were these incredible six toed footprints measuring over 15 inches long. The footprints were besides a beaver dam, maybe Bigfoot eats beavers to survive?

A cast of the footprint has been taken for analysis.

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